mo+sheila

THE BRIDE-TO-BE CAUGHT ON HER WAY TO AUDITION

While Morris Peterson sprints for his New Era millions under the whip of virgin coach Sam Mitchell at Brock University in St. Catherines, Ontario, his new Fiancé is looking to a new career in entertainment just up-mist from their freshly christened site of engagement in the lovers capital of the world, Niagara Falls. “"Its an exciting time for both of us”, says Copps."

"“We knew we couldn't keep it secret for long. We just wanted to have some special time before you guys started showing up, to be honest.”"

Asked about the age difference between herself and her new pimp-ride-guru-come-long-term investment, the 51 year old sometimes Highest Office chaser answered with Question Period bravado: "Demi's doing it".

"Nothing the critics might do to me could match the backstabbing I've had to endure from my own party in the past few years."

Defiantly more metric-friendly than Kendra Davis, the torch of the Grand Dame of The Purple Ladies, a long-honoured tradition begat by the legendary Jackie Christie, has a new, proudly Canadian bearer.

Expected to step into the vacuum left by Michelle Carter, She Pete's message to the long-suffering fanbase is one to inspire and motivate a nation: "I am very excited to work with the new subsidiary brain trust in our quest for The Cup. I truly believe, and management is fully behind me on this, signing Morris and me joining the team, along with Wayne, Alex, White Pete, and of course, Bob and Sam is not just a New Era but a brilliant one.

"No. It wasn't my idea. I had fully planned to devote away-game time to performance art. I've written. I have a great voice. I want to be a triple threat. But I love Dick [Peddie]. When he asked me to come on-board, I couldn't resist. My dancing will always be there. The team needs me.

Crushed in her battle to be crowned Empress of the Liberal Party and eventually losing even the mere nomination for her own personal fiefdom, the future Mrs. Peterson is finding new ways to “"be seen and reach out to the [her] public”" after 20 years of service to the Crown.

The woman who told John Crosby she's “"nobody's baby"” is not just bringing her own special brand of service to the boys in purple short pants, the organs of corporate Canada, and Monday night pay-what-you-can Canadians at select intimate settings, she's written a book, Worth Fighting For that will be published later this month.

The busy bride-to-be is under orders to not speak about her book until its publication. But the woman that told us she's “"not just in it for the initials"” admitted it was dedicated to “"My Morris"”.

Copps refused to scratch the charges afflicting her relationship, however, asured their sex life was "“wonderful and uninterrupted".”

“"Listen. Morris and I have had some challenges played out in public. We're healthier people for it. That's what Power Couples go through. We have each other and that's what matters. We're in a very happy place right now. We're looking at the future. I'm focused on winning. Morris is focused on winning. That's one of the things I love about him the most. He's ready to step up and be The Man"”

"“Its time for a ring."”